Category Archives: Download

Go Seahawks Go!

A little video I helped with this week at the request of Alex “the Zaniac” Zerbe.

Supporting the 49ers is dangerous in a Seahawk town

Supporting the 49ers is dangerous in a Seahawk town


Go Game! Double Down with Double Clowns

The last time I participated in the Go Game I had to make the post password protected for adult content!

[p.s. pw= 69]

When the Go Game contacted me this time, I invited Honey the clown along.  Not only does she drive a fuel efficient Prius, but she had some clever ideas about parking that would save me from paying $20 to park right next to the rendezvous spot.  She said that we could park in Queen Anne and take a bus.

However, things had changed since she’d last parked there.   They now have a 2 hr limit on most of those free spaces.  We wound up over at Warren & Howe.  We were a long way from any Fareless Square type bus zone ($2.50 for a ride) so we walked the 2 1/2 miles to the meeting spot.  I had worn my plain black garden clogs.

Then we played the game.  Microsoft employees approached and asked if I could provide them with a mascot for their team.  I gave them a balloon mouse.  The computer kind instead of the rodent kind.  Then I gave them a quick lesson on how to twist a balloon dog.  Their smart phones timed them and gave them a score, and they were on their way.

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Then we WALKED to 6 Arms McMeniman’s for dinner, and met some friends.  I arranged with Rick Blythe for our first fast-to-face after connecting through  He’s been helping me on phone some strategies.  Give a call to book a party and find out what I mean.

Then we WALKED to a friend’s house to get a ride back to our car.  I used googlemaps to estimate that we did about 7 miles.

Protected: Pie Fail

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Busy Sunday [SITC & 2kid/2clown Party]

I was flattered when Ned Hayes asked me to provide some professional face painting to support Kids at Play during Sunday’s Sand in the City.  It also provided another opportunity for intern “Crystal” to shine.

In email exchanges before the event, I quickly found out that an emergency comedy consultation was in order.  They let me know they were providing two palettes of Diamond FX 12 Essentials with four #2 & four #4 brushes.  It’s the same palette I use.  However, the Hands On Children’s Museum (who sponsors the event) had suggested that painters be prepared for 2500 faces over the course of 7 hours! [uh… six faces a minute?!]

I advised:
 I would get way more brushes of varying sizes and shapes.  And sponges.  And baby-wipes.  Just saying.
Especially if you let kids say ‘Tiger’ you need to get a square foot of orange (for example) up in a hurry.
Sidebar: if the paints are not depleted I might suggest you trade those for (a portion of?) the labor of my assistants.  Those clowns have been using my paint!

Luckily, it made sense to them, and we had enough paints AND brushes to cover many many faces.  Of course, we didn’t serve anywhere near the estimate.  In the end, I was able to bequeath my used palette to Crystal and accept a brand new & unopened one as a perk.

“Justin is the consummate professional clown. He loves his work — and it shows! He knows his way around kids, makeup, crowd control, and parents. What I love most about working with Justin is that he strives to create a complete atmosphere of fun — with pies, music, professional props, and all the accouterments. Justin is great to work with — and I highly recommend him to anyone who wants to have a GOOD TIME !!!” Ned Hayes

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Then I rushed home to get into clown and gather supplies [pies, Coke & Mentos, and water balloons].  I had a previously booked party for that evening.  The client had called Marie from Sustainable South Sound asking whether I would extend my coupon from last year.  She was especially excited when I further offered to bring Crystal as a Buy One Get One special.


Brad & John of KISM Bellingham

I got a message on my phone that some DJ’s on 92.9 KISM Classic Rock saw the Seattle Times feed about clown camp and would like to talk to me…

I was otherwise engaged during their 5:30 – 10 AM show [working at Juvie].  They went ahead during their “I Can’t Believe It’s News 8/3 early” segment and had a little fun with the idea of it. LISTEN HERE<

“It’s time to get serious about college.  My dad told me I need to buckle up!”

“Son, have you finally figured out… four years at college… have you finally figured out where you’re going?”

“Yes, father, my career track is taking me into clowning.”

“I knew we never should have sent him to Evergreen!”


Mini-Clown Camp Party Extraordinaire [w/Vlog]

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For Kai’s 11th birthday at the Circle Hawk Farm house on the 11th with approximately 11 guests…

a highly interactive mini-clown camp from 1 – 3 PM, a microcosm of the week-long camp in July: juggling/ object manipulation lesson, balloon twisting lesson, joke telling lesson, laughter yoga session w/ Trish & Orion, & pies in the faces…  in the theme of Lego Star Wars meets Old MacDonald.

For this party, I realized where the advice of other clowns was leading me astray from my natural instinct.  It’s been ‘common knowledge’ among party clowns that the clown’s role is over when the cake arrives.  No one wants to compete with the cake and presents.  I’ve been making my exit as mom takes over and everyone gets their sugar buzz on.

During the discussions with Kai’s mom, however, I followed my own inclination and offered:

  • Presenting the cake by Clowns!
  • Lighting the candles by Clowns!
  • Singing the birthday song by Clowns!
  • Slicing and serving the cake by Clowns!
  • Delivering the presents by Clowns!
  • Thanking the gift-givers by Clowns!

A comprehensive multi-hour, multi-clown party package that everyone would be sure to remember!

“I hired Justin to manage the entertainment at my son’s 11th birthday party. The entire class was invited, and I wasn’t sure how to keep a dozen pre-teenagers (boys and girls) adequately and appropriately entertained. The results were nothing short of spectacular. “Jusby” and his team of clowns engaged the kids by first leading them in an icebreaker Laughter Yoga session. He came prepared with lots of different activities, but the two that the kids went absolutely ga-ga over were the face painting and the pies. I’ve never seen kids line up so enthusiastically to get a pie in the face. Additionally, several of the parents opted to be pied as well. Everyone was laughing hysterically and very happy. As an added bonus, Jusby and his team handled the cake presentation and serving (clowns serving cake!) and the unwrapping of gifts (hilarious). BUT THAT’S NOT ALL – Jusby also provided me with beautiful online photos of the event (he’s a terrific photographer). Would I hire him again? In a New York minute. He will give you every dime’s worth of your money and then some. He’s also great with all ages, from little kids to adults. Highly recommend –

– Jennifer Waldref, Communications Specialist at Democratic Caucus/Washington State House of Representatives

6 Ways to pick up Jusby (the Sexy Clown) in Seattle

Six Ways to Pick Up Jusby and Nine Ways to Bring Him Down

I received the following instructions from Go Game HQ:

Hello, Agent Hotstuff!  Teams will be instructed to look for you and try out their best pick up line on you.  It’s possible they’ll have a little trouble locating you.  It’s fine if they hit on the wrong person a time or two, but if they’re struggling to find you/bothering patrons, give them some help locating you. Then they’ll try out their best pick up line you. Depending on how funny/cheesy/good the line is, you’ll give them a score to enter into their phones (and you pretend you’re giving it to them as part of your phone number). The scoring works like this:

6111: Great

5111: Good

4111: Pretty good

3111: Passable

2111: Below average

1111: Awful

You can always play around with them a little, too.  Ask for a better line, ask them to deliver it the way they would in a real bar, ask for the best line they’ve ever heard in their own lives, whatever you think will keep things lively.  Please remember this is a corporate event. Teams love this mission, and you’ll have a very good time today. However, on occasion, teams may push the boundaries of good taste with their pick up lines/moves. Please keep things comfortable at all times.

This is exactly what teams will see before they come to you:

Smooth Line: As superheroes, you need many different skill sets. And for this particular mission, you’ll need to showcase your skills in the ole pick up department. Why? Because it’s a lost art. So head on over to Local Color on Pike near Stewart.  There you’ll find the debonair Agent Hotpants. Approach gracefully and try out your team’s best pickup line. Make it as original as possible because he’s one smooth operator! Also, your line will be judged against other teams. If your line has enough “omph”, then our Agent just might give you his phone number. Hit ‘Prove’ once you’ve entered THE LAST FOUR DIGITS below.

I left Olympia with great expectations and a great underestimation of the time I’d be investing in parking and navigating the big city streets.  Five minutes past the scheduled rendez-vous at the Pike Place Starbucks I bit the proverbial bullet and invested $20.75 on a 3 hour parking spot beside the Lusty Lady.  I spotted my contact easily.  She wore an orange jumpsuit and sat at a table full of checks.  I took my pay and beat the pavement to my designated encounter zone.  While deciding where to arrange myself, a dude in a fez offered to share his table.  It was the Howlin’ Hobbit.

After I got my little green laptop fired up [11:58am], a waitress told me that I needed to buy something if I was going to use their table. OMG! No, no, I’m with the Go Game!  They told me to come here and people would maybe buy me a drink!  Do you have whipped cream? Oh, good.

Dubious beginning.

Howlin’ Hobbit & Jusby

Six Ways to Pick Jusby Up

  1. “Let’s go.  I have a rubber… chicken.”

  2. “I love cream pies.  Don’t you?”

  3. “Hit me with your best schlock!”

  4. “Want to share a bottle of seltzer?”

  5. “Let’s make like a banana peel and slip some clown up!”

  6. “What’s a kinky clown like you doing in a well-lit alley like this?”

I would have loved to hear lines like these yesterday, but Go Game Teams seemed pressed for time and imagination. The first team arrived, and they elected a woman spokesperson.  She mumbled, “Can we buy you a drink and maybe get a room?” WTF?! Um, okay, I’ve been fascinated by that flashing neon sign advertising a Coconut Chai… 12 oz is fine.  Here’s my number [written on the back of my biz card] 3111.  I had no idea how the grading curve would play out.  I was told that 200 Microsoft employees in 25 teams would be playing this game over the course of 2 hours.  There were about 16 actors involved.  Each scenario took a couple of minutes to play out.  Although their pick-up was pretty awful, they were quick with the drink.  It was a long time until the next group arrived.

[1:21pm] The second group sent a man, and he sat right down across from me and delivered his pick-up line.  “There’s a circus in my pants, and the only thing missing is you.” OMG! Wow!  I gave them a 5111.

[1:37] Third team also sends a man.  He’s trying to keep it together, but his delivery is stumbling and the line isn’t working for me.  “Do you know you’re in the wrong place?  The Miss Universe Contract.. uh, Contest.. is down the street…” Yikes.  It’s about to be a crash and burn.  One of his team mates whispers that he should offer me a drink.  The line is long, and my chai isn’t empty, so I decline, but I keep him squirming.  I ask if he likes pie?  Of course, he says yes.  I have him fetch some whipped cream and pop him with a micro-pie on the nose, letting his team earn a 6111 for being a good sport and persistent.

Pied face ~451

[1:46pm] The fourth (and final) team is at the door.  I’m getting the sense of when a team arrives without having to watch for them.  The energy shifts when 16 eyes scan the place and somebody suddenly hisses something like, “That guy! Check out the clown!  It’s gotta be him! Oh, no, what are we supposed to do?”  Then they all consult their smart phone for the instructions.  And laugh, embarrassed.

I’ve brought my fan, and I open it to signal them.  [1:51] I glance over, thinking they have definitely confirmed a spokesperson and decided on a line.

OMG! WTF?  Their spokesperson is sitting at the wrong table, picking up a civilian!  I SNAP open the fan, drawing some stares, hoping he’ll  get the clue to desist before it’s too late.

It’s too late.  They’re shaking hands like, “Good to meet you anyway.”  I cross over and ask the civilian, “Are you working? [no]  Did that dude just try to pick you up? [I think so] They’re looking for a sharp dresser,” I say, brushing the lapels of my tuxedo coat and touching the brim of my top hat, “and I think you won. Niiice.”  Then I go sit back down.

A minute later, the spokesperson shows up and asks, “Are you Agent HotPants?” YESSSSS… Very Good!

“What’s your policy on Manscaping? Old growth or scorched earth?”  LMAO [That’s what you asked the civilian?!]  Hmmm, I’m circus-scumscribed.  Here’s my#6111

Christopher (middle) with civilian and the real Agent HotPants

Then I was cut free, so I packed up, but before I left the owner wanted my boss’s number.  He said, “I want to stop having you come in.  It’s nothing you did, but it’s a distraction and nobody buys anything.”  I wrote her number on the back of my card and got the heck out of  Dodge.  First, I made a quick photo-op with Sage, who got me involved in this silly scheme.

Sage, Etienne, and Jusby in the spendy parking lot

Then I hit Friday rush hour traffic all the way home.  9:45 Depart Olympia, 4:45 Return Olympia.  $65 Pay – $20.75 Parking & using up a Personal Day from work… not the best gig economically speaking… but that’s part of the rant you’ll find below the cut

9 Ways to Bring Jusby Down

  1. Don’t pay extra for 126 mile Round trips
  2. Don’t pay extra for parking
  3. Don’t understand the needs of business owners
  4. Don’t recognize that Jusby is a player in a larger game
  5. Act like Jusby’s unique brand of edu-tainment is a distraction from MATTERS OF CONSEQUENCE
  6. Occupy the bathroom after Jusby has been holding 12 oz of iced coconut chai in his bladder for 3 hours
  7. Avoid double-entendre like the clap [I prefer the clap-clap-clap… of applause]
  8. Refuse pie for other people and order it for Jusby
  9. Order pie for other people and refuse it for yourself

Read the rest of this entry

Soccer Pal Post Party Vlog

… waiting for stills from Party Mom cam…

[edit.. tracked down a few on facebook.  This mom said her son had taken a big, medium AND mini.

My son has won many a “7 year old one up” conversation with the zinger, “Well, have you ever taken a PIE IN THE FACE?” – Erica Van Lierop, Queen Beef at Van’s Burger

GI JOE Themed Party (~378 Total faces pied)

A client recently had me come for a 6 y/o boy’s GI Joe themed birthday party.

I went with the basic black topped with Grampa Del’s garrison cap, accented with a camouflaged belt from a long gone bathrobe.  For extra fancy, I  added the spats that came from Puck F.

On the way, I noticed someone had pranked a car in the OHS parking lot.  I left them my card in case they wanted to get even.

Afterwards, I pied a bonus face back home.  AJ had been visiting and took a large pie to the face.

The videos tell about the Magic Kombucha grenade fail.

Noise Guy Pied

Charlie “The Noise Guy” Williams (of Isaaquah) capped off the Summer Children’s Entertainment Series on Tuesday night.  Capped it right off. bang-bang-bang. ke-BaaaNGGG!

Okay, kids.   You can only make these sounds OUTSIDE, okay?  Have a fun car ride home, parents.

Blasting the kiddy mosh pit with a Super Soaker to illustrate the effects of Hurricane Charlie.

And a third volley because they screamed “More, more, you fool!  We must be subdued by your hydraulic arsenal or we will rush the stage!”

What a pretty face!  It almost seems a shame to cover it in pie.  Almost.

We arranged to meet on Thursday morning before Charlie’s next Olympia show (at the downtown library).  We had a blast comparing stories and riffing on each others’ material.  We’ had a delicious breakfast at the New Moon Cafe (Vampire themed vegan breakfasts – j/k). He ordered French Toast.  I ordered the Monte Cristo… which is a triple-decker French toast club sandwich.  I brought a Buy Local coupon.  He brought a credit card.  Breakfast was on him!

Charlie’s modeling the new Magnum salon cape that replaced the backwards lab coat for pieing.  He’s always wanted a pie-in-the-face.  It was fate that brought us together.  Fate and FACEBOOK.

Now it’s time for his Jusby Desert.

Desert was on him too!

No skimping on the pie!  If you look closely you’ll see Terry Zander, former piee, peering at us from inside.  Also seen in the New Moon that morning, former client, Debe Edden.

Ooops.  Somebody’s gonna have to clean that up!  Out came Terry Zander to the rescue with several buckets of water and an industrial push broom.  The catch?  I had to listen to his jokes.

Speaking of water… an hour later Charlie’s back to squirting the children for the conclusion of Take a Splash, Read!

What IS that racket?

It’s your new light saber on the first day of Jedi School.  Good thing Master Yoda had that tip about the AA batteries.

“My crops need watering on Farmville!  I’m wasting time on Facebook!”

Charlie wrote a book: “Flush, an Ode to Toilets”.


I’m am the literariest clown in the whole reciprocating bio-region of Cascadia!

Charlie’s review of the Pieing

Out of the choices: Strongly Agree, Agree, Disagree, Strongly Disagree or Not Applicable

Charlie selected Strongly Agree for All 7 survey questions


  1. The pie had an adequate, clearly identifiable target.
  2. Pie met my expectations in terms of its stated target.
  3. Comedy was appropriate for the amount of time allowed.
  4. Pie increased my laughter and/or expanded my smile.
  5. I will be able to apply the pie content to my current job assignment.


  1. The clown was organized and prepared.
  2. The clown had a thorough knowledge of the subject.
  3. The clown used effective talking and hand motions and stuff.

He also added the following comments: “Pied Piper, Pied lovebird, Pie in the sky, the great pie of Sauron”

Protected: Funny Guy takes a Fall, Gets the Chair

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Pie in the face video (abridged)

Here’s the short version of the Pie-in-the-face routine from NWFest ’09.

Courtesy David Raffin and

NWFC movie (feat. Jusby)

21 minutes of Northwest Festival of Clowns featuring all three of the events in which I competed… and some other clowns too.  Courtesy David Raffin & Blissful Remembrances.

Protected: Things got weird at work that Monday

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Protected: Fall Arts Walk preview

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