The final version of my gift certificate
Whereas the KAOS membership drive comes but once a year… OKAY, Twice a year…
Whereas the KAOS SPRING membership drive comes but once a year and
Whereas the program known as “Radio 8-Ball ~ Pop Oracle for the masses” has provided miraculous, mysterious, and mytho-poetic resonance for the public AT NO CHARGE and with no expectoration of personal gain, so then
Hear Ye, All Assembled around Yon radio tuned to 89.3FM or on the net at http://www.radiokaos.org…
Therefore, I, Jusby the Clown (of the Red Nose Brigade), being of South Sound Mind and Body, do hereby donate to the bearer of this here said certificate a live and 3-D performance in honor of their gimungously generous pledge to support communicable radio!
The performance shall include approximately 44 and three-quarters minutes of side-splitting entertainment and 15 and one-quarter minutes of time-bending boredom.
Performance highlights may probably include The Fantastic Four-way Flipping Fans of Faraway Flores, The Accidentally Exploding Balloon Animal Menagerie, & the Socio-Political Analyses of Hierarchical Systems of Wealth Creation and Control. Fun for All Ages!
Performance shall be given within Thurston county or 1st class transportation and accommodation costs to be the responsibility of the recipient. Arrangements for the performance to be discussed at a mutually secret location (no one can ever know).
The part of Jusby shall be played by Justin B. Wright, creator of Dance O’ Dance, declassified substitute, recovering Mad Scientist, former academick coach, former reading tutor recruiter, and former co-host of Radio 8-Ball.