10 Knock-Knock Jokes for Chivers

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These are INSIDE JOKES for Chivers and Chivettes.  Visit http://thechive.com to get clues what they mean.

10. Knock-Knock.  Who’s There? Bo. Bo Who? Bo Red At Work!

9. Knock-Knock.  Who’s There? Bernie. Bernie Who? Bernie Bra Day!

8. Knock-Knock.  Who’s There? Emma.  Emma Who? Ehrmagehrd! Kunerk kunerk jokes!

7. Knock-Knock.  Who’s There? Effell.  Effell Who? FLBP!

6. Knock-Knock.  Who’s There? Ida. Ida Who? Ida What I Want!

5. Knock-Knock.  Who’s There? Kasey.  Kasey Who? KCCO!

4. Knock-Knock.  Who’s There? Keith.  Keith Who? Keith Calm and Chive On!

3. Knock-Knock.  Who’s There? Moe.  Moe Who? Motivational Monday!

2. Knock-Knock.  Who’s There?  Merri.  Merri Who? ‘Merica!

1.Knock-Knock.  Who’s There? Sawyer. Sawyer Who? Sawyer Got Wasted!

Plz tag me on facebook if you took a pic at the Meet Up.


Allow me to expand on the details about this event, which goes a bit contrary to typical clown parties *ahem*.   However, my philosophy about clowning has always emphasized absurd rituals of taboo violation, and that includes taboos within the mainstream clown community.

Becoming a Chiver

I don’t remember the exact day I became a “Chiver”, but it was a recent transformation, and probably occurred within a week of my first visit.  Each day at the Chive has a distinct theme, but each day the community of Chivers seemed to be recognizing (and photographing) each other in public in their limited edition T-shirts.  The selection of T-shirt styles always seemed to grow, but the supply is always unable to keep up with the demand.  T-shirts would sell out in minutes!

This is by design. This is the same exclusivity model that the Winklevoss twins wanted for fcbk.  It’s turned a bunch of folks into needy wannabes, myself included.  Branded T-shirt = BELONGING!

The Chive also throws parties.  See where this is going?  They had meet-ups in some major cities (New Orleans/ Houston/Vegas/NYC/ Chicago/San Diego/LA), and it didn’t occur to me that I would ever get to one, but… I happened to be home… on the computer on a Thursday at 1PM when they announced the tickets for the Seattle meet-up.

The $40 ticket price included a T-shirt!  And free alcohol: draft beer and Tito’s handmade vodka drinks. *ahem*

Clown Taboo = Consuming ANY Alcohol in Public While in Clown

Jusby’s Philosophy = Enjoy Responsibly+Appear in Diverse Contexts

It was a harrowing decision, but Trish already had made plans to see a show in Seattle that night.

“My wife’s in town for Wicked… no, no, she’s just an understudy..”

What is the Chive?

Well, it’s the flagship of a “family of  photo-centric websites owned and operated by brothers John and Leo Resig.”  Collectively, the websites form Resignation Media, a Fortune 600 company.

Known as “Probably the Best Site in the World”, theCHIVE is the world’s largest photo blog -showcasing original galleries of funny photos, beautiful women, groundbreaking photography, and art from all over the world. theCHIVE is a one-stop shop for the interweb’s hottest, freshest and funniest viral photos and videos thoughtfully curated from user submitted photos and collected throughout the web by theCHIVE’s internal editors.

Chive is a combination of Chicago and Venice Beach.  The banner of the Chive reads “Funny Photos and Funny Videos – Keep Calm and Chive On”.  This phrase originated with a British WWII poster advising the English to “Keep Calm and Carry On” (in the event of an invasion).

Contemporary rendering of a poster from the Un...

The Chive claims to get over A MILLION homepage hits PER DAY.  My page broke a personal record after the first version of this post went live with 649 hits.  But it wasn’t the Chive taking me viral.  It was people looking for “First Grade Drug Free Slogans” and finding a post from 2009 >https://jusbytheclown.com/2009/02/19/swag-from-puck/>

I wish I still had these stickers.  They would have been an ironic giveaway that night.

The Night of the Meetup

We parked near the Paramount so T could get to the show on time.  Garage Billiards was 0.7 miles away.   Uphill… In The Rain… Carrying a cooler with enough whipped cream to pie 50 faces.

“Can you tell me how to get to Broadway, sir?”

“Practice, practice, practice!”

Wicked (musical)

A clown with a cooler and clipboard?

I made it past security, but after about 10 minutes of strolling with the clipboard was approached by Mark from Garage and a dignified (old) official representative of the Chive.

“We don’t want any solicitation.  Even in joke form.  Whatever you’re doing with the clipboard, we don’t want you to.  You’re welcome to stay and enjoy yourself.” 

Hilarious.  A clipboard is very intimidating.  If the waiver were on my new Kindle Fire HD they never would have been the wiser.  Click to accept the terms of service.  Your thumbprint on my screen is legally binding.

Societal Taboo = Signing Waivers Under the Influence

Jusby’s Philosophy = Express or Implied Consent is Good Enough

Time to Keep Calm and Chive On, eh?  I got a drink and stood in line for my T-shirt.  Additional shirts were apparently for sale.  Imagine that.  However, by the time I got to the front of the line they were sold-out.  I had one can of whipped cream in my holster, so I was ready when I finally encountered Jon Resig.  I did not even have to propose a pie-in-the-face as a nearby Chiver suggested he take a whipped cream shot.

Jon’s response: “I have to!  Just keep taking pictures!”  Nearby Chivette’s response to his mouth full of whipped cream: suck face.

Now we could argue whether this was technically a willingly ‘pied’ face, but I’m counting it.

Societal Taboo = Allowing Strangers to Put Things in Your Mouth or on Your Face

Jusby’s Philosophy = Keep Calm and Pie On!

Photo courtesy http://twitter.com/chiveonseattle


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