Pieing the Chef and Author, Wendy Sumner-Winter

July 10, 2010

Here’s Wendy Sumner-Winter!

Pied in Memphis, in her own back yard… celebrating her M.F.A in Creative Writing Degree!

Another Author Pied!  I’ve got such educated and talented clients!

Yes, she is also a chef.  She served us such wonderful treats during our Memphis stay.  For example: Bacon and Basil Salmon with Grits followed by a Scotch & pear liqueur over French vanilla ice cream.

We adjourned that evening to a monthly book club held at a swank Memphis maison bourgeoise de toute facon. ZUT ALORS!  We’re talking swank in-ground saline pool!  We’re talking blender full of Daiquiris and fancy BBQ chicken nachos, BACON spring rolls, and all the kids with a sitter!

The monthly book club was to discuss Mary Akers collection of short stories Women Up On Blocks.  Wendy had let us know about the club meeting at the beginning of our week together, and I took the opportunity to give the book a try.    Wendy loved it.  She gave it 5 stars on Amazon.  All 11 Amazon reviewers agreed: 5 STAR BOOK.

I only finished the first two stories.  Only one other person of the 10 at the club had, in fact, read the book.  A lively, if theoretical, discussion ensued.  I’d been intrigued by “Animo, Anima, Animus” the story of the woman who paints herself  like a tiger and protests animal cruelty in a cage outside the circus.   It was stimulating on several levels.  However, I did notice the pattern that the other two readers mentioned: the women in these stories don’t progress.  We’re left hanging and frustrated.

The other big critique we heard was “I didn’t learn anything from her voice.”  Many of the characters are low rent Appalachians, and, as Southerners, this affluent and educated group didn’t quite buy it.  Well, yeah, sadly, the majority didn’t bother to buy the book though they could obviously afford it.  [granted, there were mitigating circumstances, slight miscommunication, parental obligations, Summer ennui, the WORLD CUP!]

Then they took suggestions for next month’s book.  Two people suggested the classic novel “Cry, the beloved Country” [set in South Africa], one suggested a new non-fiction hardcover “Cognitive Surplus”, and…

I suggested “Clown Girl”!

Clown Girl, by Monica Drake, a Portland author, I’ve had the pleasure to meet… and pie.  Her husband is an author, and I pied him too.  She brought two other author friends.  I pied them all.

For a slightly lighter fare (than apartheid-era South Africa), this is the story of a clown who wants to raise her clowning to a higher art form by developing a clown version of Kafka’s Metamorphosis, but she finds that what sells is either Christian balloon sculptures… or private adult parties for clown fetishists.  Clown prostitution, in other words.  For a good time, Clown Girl by Monica Drake.

I thoroughly enjoyed the company of sophisticated adults engaged in friendly debate.  Not a passionate argument, not a political or religious shouting match, but a literary critique.  Refreshing.  Because they were digitally sophisticated, they were able to look up Clown Girl on an iphone and noticed it had a flattering forward by Chuck Palahniuk, but in the end they voted for “Cry, the Beloved Country”, and so I don’t have to host the club in August.

But they were prepared to either fly me back out or Skype me in.

Try also, the Red Stiletto, invented by mixologist Kate DiMaggio in honor of Women Up On Blocks!

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Some of the Memphis Transformations

July 9, 2010

Practicing face painting on our spontaneous vacation

Mixing up the Henna to practice the Mehndi hands and feet.

By request, a green spotless giraffe.

New Plain Red T-Shirt from a Memphis Walgreen’s outside Otherlands Coffee.

There’s the full effect with custom cut offs, pirate store socks, and only slightly too big Turf King garden slippers.

To Otherlands, You had me at FREE WI-FI !  And it’s lucky you were one block away from the scene of the scene.

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Jusby and Cottleston Pie

June 20, 2010

Here’s Melissa Suther and I at the temporary KAOS radio HQ Portable [mobile home].

I came out there to be her guest on Father’s Day.  She hosts a kid’s show called “Cottleston Pie”

Talkin the Talk and Walking the Walk… or Sitting the Sit.

2-01jusbyoncottlestonpie part1 (MP3)

2-01jusbyoncottlestonpie part2 (MP3)

2-01jusbyoncottlestonpie partt3 (MP3)

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Makin’ Deals and Pieing Faces

June 19, 2010

An old college friend was in town recently and agreed to a pie in the face.

No wait, a fcbking friend who happened to go to the same college… and had a show on KAOS around the same time as me… and whose song I’d put on Dance O’ Dance… a friend of a friend really… in town for the other friend’s wedding… to which I wasn’t invited. Oh, dear, this is embarrassing.  The friend getting married also had a show on KAOS and put me in her infamous movie (“Love is Stupid”)… but I’d dated several of her friends… and they might have been invited to the wedding, and since everybody else lives in different cities… oh, whatever, you just can’t invite everybody to your wedding when space is limited.  I forgive you, Jenny Jenkins.

But we were talking about Caroline “Puck” Deutermann who agreed to the pie… casually, on facebook.

I take it seriously and send instructions to meet at the corner of Olympia and Washington at noon.

I splash on make-up and Oly-alt-hippy-organic-farmer costume (tie dye & overalls) and rush down there with Orion as assistant & photographer in tow.

Then I find myself waiting on the corner…. Puck didn’t take it seriously, and I forgot to bring her phone number.  It turns out that she’s around the corner at Old School or Dumpster Values or drinkin’ Artesian Well Water or sumptin.  So I decide to walk over to Whittle (the woodshop for imaginations of all sizes) and follow-up on my inquiry about custom folding fans.

Kyle decides that he can build one completely out of wood (replacing the metal pin with a wood dowel).  Once we create a production system,  we can make as many as I need and bring down the cost per unit.  I let him borrow one of my Indonesian fighting fans as a model, give him $20 for some parts and labor, and he says he’d make the wooden frame if I get the fabric.  Check back in three weeks.

We seal the deal with a handshake.

We have time to swing by the library and catch Jeff Evans doing his Aquafir Man routine for Take a Splash Read during the Imagination Celebration.

Then I head home and get Puck’s number from her fcbk info page.  She’s running late for the wedding now, so we can only visit long enough for me to deliver the pie.  Then she needs new stockings.  We meet in front of the Tea Lady’s new location near my house.

On the 30th of June (11 days later), we’re called out of town on a family emergency.  I’m back on the 11th (22 days later).  I haven’t heard from Kyle, but I also haven’t found the fabric I want.  By the 18th, I’ve obtained several yards of silk from Honey the Clown’s stash AND inspired Jerome at Rusty Cock Ridge to whip up a prototype in his shop.  Still no call from Kyle.

Yesterday, I drove downtown to find out how it was progressing.

Whittle is no longer in the storefront on Capital Blvd!

The website doesn’t show a physical address anymore, and no one answered the phone.

Hey, no fair.

Well, that’s one less birthday party option competing for parents.

[edit. update. kyle replied via email: "Things hapened quickly when we got the offer for the new space.  This doesn't affect your fans, except tha it will be a couple more weeks for me to get completeply set up.  If that's a problem, let me know.  I'll call you first thing next week." YAY, new space! Fans in a few weeks!]


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Protected: Thinking Outside the box pt 4

May 30, 2010

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Pie-ing Patch while Designing a Society

May 28, 2010

We arrived at the Fremont Studios for Patch Adam’s birthday party celebration at about 9 PM and found him strolling outside for a break of some sort.  I sprung into action, and he graciously stood still for it while I waived the usual speechifying and simply presented the pie-in-the-face.

Inside, we rocked out until past midnight!

Miss Kate accepted her pie-in-the-face, and reciprocated in kind.

The evening concluded with a twofer and I broke the 300 pied faces mark!

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Pirate (Clown) Party for 6 y/o Boy

May 23, 2010

Captain Jusby, First Mate Miss Kate and their Pirate crew

Dear Jusby,

I am in need of a clown quickly, my son is having his 6th birthday party in Lacey WA. at Rainier Vista park on Sunday May 23rd, the party is from 3:30 to 6:30, but we need a clown for an hour or so. I know it’s short notice but he wanted a pirate party and well no pirates around here I guess, now he wants a clown. Is there anything you can do? What is your cost?

Thank You!  A Mom


Dear Mom,

I am totally willing to tweak my costume and routine toward a Pirate themed party.
As you have noticed from the website, the pie-in-the-face is my specialty, and I find it best if parents have advance warning so they can be prepared with 1) spare clothes & 2) their own camera!

I’m thinking I’ll include:
Pirate Transformations (Scars, mustaches, temp tattoos)
Treasure Hunt (wild goose chase)
Balloon Swords

Of course, I’ll bring “Snowball” the pie-rat and plenty of pies.

***

I found an assistant who is available on Sunday: (“First Mate”) Miss Kate!  She also attended The Silly Fool School of Top Secret Esoteric Clowning AND has clowned abroad with Patch Adams, AND she is a Certified Laughter Yoga Leader.
Her services are included in my rates.  We will paint faces twice as fast.  We will PIE faces twice as fast.
We can split guests into two teams for pirate games.
We can engage adults AND children simultaneously.

Oh, I love it when an assistant is available!

Jusby

Oh, kid, this is gonna be great!  Are you absolutely sure you want this?

This girl kept trying to put the labcoat on forwards instead of backwards like a smock.  We had a little matador action going on for a minute.

Jusby gives advice about pie-ing your own mother: “She carried you for nine months… don’t hurt her!”

Okay, Mom, this is what happens when you hire Jusby.

Dad’s Turn!

Mission Accomplished

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Simon’s 6th

May 16, 2010

Bonus Flaming Pie & Song

After the Purim gig, I’d apparently made an impression on Simon because his dad decided to book me for a Pie Delivery special.  I LOVE this level of service.  I don’t have to lug as much stuff or wonder whether people will be open to the idea of a pie-in-the-face.

THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE HIRING ME FOR!

BIRTHDAY BOY!

They sign right up for it!

Two weeks later her mom says, “Every time she sees a pie she wants me to put it in her face!”

My assistant wanders off.  “I got bored.”

Birthday Boy PIES his Grandma!

A delicate self-pieing with the smallest pie available.

BIRTHDAY BOY PIES DAD!  HARD!  WITH THE STEEL PIE PAN!

This IS what you were expecting, sir?

Then I gave Simon a private Comedy Consultation.  “Your mom carried you in her body for 9 months.  It will still be funny if you don’t break her nose.  Less power with the same amount of accuracy this time!”

BIRTHDAY BOY PIES MOM!  THIS FAMILY REALLY GETS IT!

Bridget makes Jusby look like a midget.  Give the monster a strawberry with whipped cream!

Could I do ONE more before I leave?  Yes.

This is how Jusby’s new total got to about 280 face pied!

Can I do 20 faces at the next gig for a nice round 300?  Quite possibly.

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Protected: Between Two Clown Worlds

May 16, 2010

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Protected: Last gig of 2009

March 12, 2010

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Protected: Timefighters Midnight Film Fest

January 23, 2010

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Jusby’s Best of 2009

January 5, 2010

January - Honey the Clown is born! She attends (approximately) SEVENTEEN events with me in 2009!

February – Trish and I take “The Art of the Tease” class with Miss Indigo Blue and I start reconnecting with David Raffin upon reading his short story “Twilight of the Clowns”.  He creates (approximately) SEVENTEEN works of art featuring me in 2009.

March – I continued classes in anthroposophical based clowning with Dawn of the Simple Fool school (of top secret esoteric clowning).  Orion turned 5 with a Glow Golf party.

April – An old friend gets stuck on her way home to Alaska and gets the first mini-pie-in-the-face.

I turn 40 and eat fried crickets.  I break the 100 pie mark.  Honey and I clown at Procession of the Species.

May – Jusby the Engineer is born!  Red Nose Brigade parade season starts.  I get called into the ring to be an assistant at Circus Gatti!  I get interviewed for Folkshine.  Jusby the Agent is born.

June – The Timberland Regional Library now has 2 years of the clown magazine “the New Calliope” thanks to me (and the RNB).  I order a whipped cream dispenser from e-bay so I can offer sugar free non-dairy organic pies in the face.  Honey and I march in the Pride parade.  Mish and I do a party in McCleary.

(c) Steve Bloom, the Olympian

July – Pied Monica Drake, author of Clown Girl in Portland… and her husband, and two of their author friends!  I bought a red unicycle.  I graduated from the Simple Fool school.  We see orca whales in the San Juans.  Jusby the Referee is born and I break the 200 pie mark!

(c) Greg Wahl-Stephens

August – I pie zombies!  I construct the first two models of the flaming pie.  The zombies survive.

August -  I get a job at a school I used to work at.  (I go into the interview with two letters of recommendation from members of the interview committee).  They nominate me to lipsynch to Aretha Franklin’s “Respect” at the first assembly.  I debut the unicycle.   I pie a woman I haven’t seen in 25 years… and her 16 year old daughter.  I buy a pair of size 20 shoes for $5.

October -I appear (4 times) in a huge photo collage at Fall Arts Walk in the window of Hot Toddy.  Orion and I go to Portland for the Juggling Festival and I practice my unicycle for hours.  The alley attends the Northwest Festival of Clowns.  I take home three medals and $20 for my shoes (sold to a Belgian clown).  I escort people through the Tumwater Halloween House three nights in a row.

November – I meet and pie (of course) Dingo Dizmal and his girlfriend, Olive Rootbeer.  I also meet (again) Pamela “Fancie” Woods and her poodle, Olive.

December – I debut my new theme song and the flaming pie at a birthday in Portland.  I pie David Raffin’s mother in Lacey.  (The pie is not flaming.)

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Interstate Clowning

December 6, 2009

After reconnecting with Adam McIsaac a year or so ago… I managed to net a long-distance Premium Visit booking for his daughter, Maxine’s birthday.

Here’s the first look at that party and his review (graciously supplied via linkedin).

Orion kept working his way into the act.

Flaming Pie debuts at an actual party!

Surrounded the lady who was scared of clowns at first.  [still seems a little guarded, eh?]

“I hired Jusby for my daughter’s fifth birthday party. Certain adults claim to be uncomfortable around clowns, a perception fueled by the entertainment industry, for whom lazy writers will use the casting of the benign and jolly clown into sinister aspect to score cheap suspense points. But clowning is a very old and respected art form; a good clown will work a room according to who is in it. A child’s birthday party, for example, invariably contains adults, and the simpler, child-pleasing act will succeed with adults only insofar as the children are entertained. But this clown is the real deal. Gifted in improvisation, his humor hits on multiple levels: broad comedy for children, delivered with plenty of rapid-fire asides to keep adults laughing, too. He travels loaded for bear, with a bottomless box of props and a long list of extra services, e.g., face-painting, tattooing and so on. We hired him for a two hour premium visit, and probably only made it a third of the way through his total act. He was always busy — and enraptured the children — but with a laid-back aspect; he and his assistant, Honey the Clown, seemed to be more like particularly amusing guests in whiteface rather than a set performance. Many clowns seem to have one thing that they do particularly well with the rest used for filler; Jusby seems to handle every aspect of the clown’s trade well, whatever technical facility he may lack in a given area is filled out by his deep training in theatre, and this is perhaps his strongest point: when he’s working, it seems like the most natural thing in the world to have a clown at your party. - Adam McIsaac, Owner, Pinch a Design Studio

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Protected: Meeting Fancie the Clown & her poodle, Olive

December 6, 2009

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Dingo Dizmal and Olive Rootbeer pied

November 28, 2009

It was a sunny Black Friday afternoon in the Hawthorne district of Portland.  I was temporarily flooded with bittersweet memories as I navigated through those holiday shoppers and spotted Dingo on his tall bike.

I had been wanting to meet this clown, Dingo Dizmal, for some time, ever since I began seeing his images and stories on… yes, facebook again!

He directed me to park at the Subway where his girlfriend, Olive Rootbeer, works.  He had the idea that we could be temporary employees for a photo shoot, but we spent so much time in the parking lot that the manager arrived and it didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

I tried the tall bike… twice, leaping to safety as it crashed to the ground, it’s pedal taking a nip at my ankle.  Uh… no, thanks, though it looks funny… The noise attracted a crowd and a couple of folks took rides around.  With a small prompt tipped Dingo $5 which he passed on to a lady busker he knows.

He works in the new vaudeville genre.  Is that putting it mildly?  Is that even believable?  Lessee… it’s post-modern, anarchistic, adult oriented… he just completed a run of [Wanderlust Circus] Sideshow Speakeasys at Dante’s.  He  uses a pneumatic cannon to fire various… um… objects (tampons)… into the crowd.  He judges eating contests: a dozen hard boiled eggs and canned silk worm pupa.  He’s got a game called “What’s Up Your Ass?”  [contestants get to keep what they find there.]  He MC’s the weekly open mike at Muddy’s.  He plays the banjo and lets Olive drop a bowling all on him from atop a ladder.   And his stories went on!

Dingo ran away from home at 14… and again at 17.  He deliberately recreated himself in each new town.  He worked as a carny, the game where you try to throw a ball into a cup.  Then he joined the circus as the concessionaire for a Shrine affiliated show.  In fact, he parents brought his belongings to him at the circus.  They found him doing laundry with a washboard, and they took him to a laundromat.  They spent a few hours together doing the circus’ laundry before they said good-bye.  He eventually quit after witnessing the harsh treatment of the animals especially at their winter quarters.

His ex-wife, Caffeine Jones, came from show biz folk, Hollywood set-designers, I believe he said.  She had a great exercise for creating a character.

“Imagine they’re making a Dingo Dizmal doll… what would it look like?  Now imagine it has a string you pull… what 10 things does it say?”

I imagined what the Jusby clown would say… and the script for the photoshoot wrote itself… Pie in the face?  So we sent Olive to the store for whipped cream and caught the pie-ing in the last rays of sunset.

Here’s his sweety, Olive Rootbeer.

Dingo quit drinking when his 1st child was on the way.  He was sobered by the sudden accumulation of her basinett, clothes and toys.  He sat in the room and stared at it all.  He realized, “There’s a person out there who already owns all this stuff.  I won’t be able to just pick up and leave town.”

He was due for his weekend custody of both children when we met up for the first time.  It took us a few hours until we finally knew what the photoshoot had to be.  By then it was “Kid O’clock”, so we wrapped it up in a hurry, and I drove over to the dingo-loving Aussie photographer’s house.

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