Makin’ Deals and Pieing Faces

June 19, 2010

An old college friend was in town recently and agreed to a pie in the face.

No wait, a fcbking friend who happened to go to the same college… and had a show on KAOS around the same time as me… and whose song I’d put on Dance O’ Dance… a friend of a friend really… in town for the other friend’s wedding… to which I wasn’t invited. Oh, dear, this is embarrassing.  The friend getting married also had a show on KAOS and put me in her infamous movie (“Love is Stupid”)… but I’d dated several of her friends… and they might have been invited to the wedding, and since everybody else lives in different cities… oh, whatever, you just can’t invite everybody to your wedding when space is limited.  I forgive you, Jenny Jenkins.

But we were talking about Caroline “Puck” Deutermann who agreed to the pie… casually, on facebook.

I take it seriously and send instructions to meet at the corner of Olympia and Washington at noon.

I splash on make-up and Oly-alt-hippy-organic-farmer costume (tie dye & overalls) and rush down there with Orion as assistant & photographer in tow.

Then I find myself waiting on the corner…. Puck didn’t take it seriously, and I forgot to bring her phone number.  It turns out that she’s around the corner at Old School or Dumpster Values or drinkin’ Artesian Well Water or sumptin.  So I decide to walk over to Whittle (the woodshop for imaginations of all sizes) and follow-up on my inquiry about custom folding fans.

Kyle decides that he can build one completely out of wood (replacing the metal pin with a wood dowel).  Once we create a production system,  we can make as many as I need and bring down the cost per unit.  I let him borrow one of my Indonesian fighting fans as a model, give him $20 for some parts and labor, and he says he’d make the wooden frame if I get the fabric.  Check back in three weeks.

We seal the deal with a handshake.

We have time to swing by the library and catch Jeff Evans doing his Aquafir Man routine for Take a Splash Read during the Imagination Celebration.

Then I head home and get Puck’s number from her fcbk info page.  She’s running late for the wedding now, so we can only visit long enough for me to deliver the pie.  Then she needs new stockings.  We meet in front of the Tea Lady’s new location near my house.

On the 30th of June (11 days later), we’re called out of town on a family emergency.  I’m back on the 11th (22 days later).  I haven’t heard from Kyle, but I also haven’t found the fabric I want.  By the 18th, I’ve obtained several yards of silk from Honey the Clown’s stash AND inspired Jerome at Rusty Cock Ridge to whip up a prototype in his shop.  Still no call from Kyle.

Yesterday, I drove downtown to find out how it was progressing.

Whittle is no longer in the storefront on Capital Blvd!

The website doesn’t show a physical address anymore, and no one answered the phone.

Hey, no fair.

Well, that’s one less birthday party option competing for parents.

[edit. update. kyle replied via email: "Things hapened quickly when we got the offer for the new space.  This doesn't affect your fans, except tha it will be a couple more weeks for me to get completeply set up.  If that's a problem, let me know.  I'll call you first thing next week." YAY, new space! Fans in a few weeks!]


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Posted by Jusby the Clown

Flaming Pies, Mach II

August 30, 2009

I spent the afternoon with Luke shopping for the new flaming pie hardware.  We went to Home Depot for an hour.  Then we stopped at Ace Hardware for the white gas (aka Coleman fuel).  We walked to the dollar store and got cutting boards, red oven mitts, a red checkered tablecloth, and plums (for Orion).  Then we had to go back into Ace Hardware for more screws and washers to attach the boards and mitts where scrap lumber had been.

Luke handled all the drilling and screwing from that point.  They were done in time for me to rush down to the Midnight Sun and talk with Elizabeth Lord about the possibility of flaming pies in her upcoming Vaudeville show.

What was expected was “an audition”.

Two groups were before my conversation.  A couple did a drag Mary Poppins / Chimney Sweep lipsynch and dance.  I wasn’t familiar with the version, but it took aim, in part, at Disney.  Then the woman had another partner do a Flamenco duet.

I told Elizabeth frankly that my new flaming pie act had never been tried, but I proposed a Clown-lesque act of approximately 5 minutes.  If I felt I could not safely perform flaming pies indoors I was willing to work outside, perhaps during intermission.  I was sure to light them up later that evening.  We would be in touch.

Here they are soaking in white gas.  Neighbor Aaron advised, after the fact, mixing the white gas with paraffin lamp fuel, to lower the flash point and mellow it out overall.

fpsoaking

fp1soaked

A fully soaked pie.  Aaron also demonstrated how it is wise to shake off the excess fuel… before lighting it.

fpssm

They lit up good!

fpson1foot

So I did a little dance.

fpinterview

Then I consented to an interview with David Raffin.

Here’s the video

http://blissfulremembrances.com/br/videofolder/ClownFire.mov

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Protected: The Missoula Oblongata BackYard Show

August 21, 2009

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Protected: More loft progress

August 11, 2009

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Protected: Flaming Pie Prototype

August 3, 2009

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Protected: Loft progress

July 17, 2009

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Protected: Progress that is slow, and progress that is sudden

July 4, 2009

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Protected: The PVC Stilts

September 2, 2008

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Pirate Party Favors… and Pinata (in progress)

March 22, 2008

piratediskw.jpg

Pirated Music to Celebrate Birthdays, CDs as favors in the Treasure Chest

  1. Mirah “Tumwater Falls”
  2. Peter Pan “Following the Leader”/  “Yo Ho, A Pirate’s Life for Me”
  3. Harry and the Potters “The Firebolt”, “Gryffindor Rocks”
  4. J&J Soule “Pirate Theme”
  5. Songs 4 Kids “She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain”
  6. Baby Gramps “Rock Candy Mountain”
  7. Bad Manners “Teddy bears picnic”
  8. Supergenius “The Wisdom of Yoda”
  9. Disney “Tigger Song”
  10. Songs 4 Kids “Old MacDonald Had a Farm”
  11. the Big Kidz Band “Old MacDonald had a sampler”
  12. Schoolhouse Rock “Number Cruncher”
  13.  “Addams Family”
  14.  “Munsters”
  15. “Get Smart”
  16. “Superman 1987”
  17. Nelson Riddle Orch “Batman”
  18. “Captain America”
  19. Harry  & the Potters “This Book is So Awesome”
  20. the Beatles “Yellow Submarine”
  21. the Rolling Stones “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”
  22. Jolly Rogers “the Pirate Ward”
  23. Rebecca Pearcy “Constellation”
  24. Buckethead ”Pirate’s Life for Me”
  25. Ralph Steadman “Little Boy Bilee”
  26. Garrison Keilor “Mel’s Big Boy Buffet”
  27. Bono “A Dying Sailor to his Shipmates”
  28. Lothar & the Hand People “Woody Woodpecker”
  29. Robert Crumb & his Cheap Suit Serenaders “Singing in the Bathtub”

piratepinata.jpg

I used a large punching-ball style balloon for the base. I covered it with paper mache newspaper strips, using a coarse buckwheat flour. Then, instead of colored tissue paper, placed delicately on with a thin glue solution, I used good old blue painters’s tape, the kind that I used to create the Dance O’ Dance floor circles… from some of the extra rolls left over from last year’s Camp Invention.

The ship is made of a grocery bag. The cannons, cannonballs, anchor and flag are all black construction paper. The skull and cross bones are white construction paper, but the sail is simple printer paper. The smoke is cotton balls.

There’s a few pieces of duct tape holding the hemp twine on, but the rest is held together with rubber cement.

piratepinatacu.jpg

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Valentine’s Day (part 1)

February 21, 2008

In March we commemorate the time Saint Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland.

In February we commemorate the time Saint Patrick drove the chocolate turtles out of Switzerland.

At 7:30 AM on V-Day, Trish was dressed and moving fast. She said, “I’ll be right back.”

I thought, “Oh, how sneaky. She left a card or gift in the car. Oh, that’s the car starting… and that’s her driving away… well, she’ll be back in a few minutes.”

So, I got up and discovered that she’d already made huge cards for the both of us with a list of Sweet things that we do.

Orion and I then made heart-shaped pancakes from scratch by mostly following a recipe from the Joy of Cooking. I substituted a mix of Rice/ Almond flour, Bob’s Red Mill Coconut Flour, and Barley flour for the wheat flour.

Around 8:00 AM Trish returned with two grocery bags that included heart-shaped bagels and strawberry cream cheese.

Orion chose the bagels, and we put the pancakes in the fridge.

Then we left for school and work and working-at-school. I made pop-up Lego-inspired Valentine’s cards for Orion.

vdcard.jpg

I’d arranged for Uncle Nick to come and babysit. He was supposed to arrive by train around 4:40. Trish would ordinarily be at St. Martin’s until 3:30, but she’d work later and pick him up.

However, at 2:00 my phone rang. Uncle Nick asked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m working,” I said and asked, ” What are you doing?”

“I’m standing at the Olympia/ Lacey train station,” he replied.

“I’d love to pick you up, but I don’t have the car. I expected you on the later train. Do you have Trish’s cell number? (Yes) Call her and get back to me.” I instructed.

At 2:14 I hadn’t heard back yet, so I tried Trish. She usually leaves her phone off during sessions. It’s not polite to interrupt a peaceful massage with an electronic Charge of the Light Brigade.

Edison wax cylinder version

I let her know the situation, since he hadn’t reached her. At 2:41 [synchronistic inverse of 2/14] I got a text message from him: “Trish is picking me up at 3:30″. I replied: “kewl”

nickerror1425.jpg

Our babysitter, Uncle Nick, a former member of Team 1425, the Wilsonville Robotics team. [another synchronistic inverse of 2/14 again, with a 5 thrown in for change]

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Happy Birthday, Amanda

November 19, 2007

A. G. Quinn

 

A. G. QuinnNov 19

 

Now update that website! or this one!

ass.jpg

 

PIE!

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My Belated Funny Valentine’s

February 27, 2007

For my day job I hang out with 1st graders, and I get to do arts and crafts related to upcoming holidays.

As I was creating a Valentine’s envelope I didn’t realize how my life would imitate art. Specifically, it was to imitate a Charlie Brown Valentine (which we had rented the previous week).

To refresh your memory, Chuck doesn’t get a single solitary Valentine’s card… until… the following day when he is approached by several girls who felt bad and offer him some of theirs. Schroeder intervenes and reads the girls the riot act. He tells them that Charlie Brown doesn’t need their day-late reused Valentine’s cards. They can’t ease their guilty consciences with this pitiful display of pity.

Chuck suddenly pipes up with, “Don’t listen to him. I’ll take them!”

The big day arrived, and it was rapidly becoming apparent that most of the kids did not plan on including adults in the card exchange. Several quick-thinking girls drew me cards on construction paper. Then we shift into the parallel cartoon universe. A girl had recently moved away and kids did not know what to do with hers.

The teacher suggested, “Maybe you could give it to Mr. Justin,” and so they did. Poor Rebecca! Her Pixie Stix got re-gifted. You can call me Re-Justin.

After school, Trish picked me up and informed me that we would be going to Olive Garden. The boy has a fondness for their breadsticks. We arrived and were shown a table.

It did not meet the boy’s approval. He preferred the large corner table by the window, set for six.

We ordered and ate our salad and breadsticks. Then the boy started to shiver and asked to go home. I told our server, “There’s good news and bad news. The good news is that this table will soon be available. The bad news is that the boy doesn’t feel so good. Could we get our order to go?” Instead of going home, we took him to the doctor’s office instead. The doctor told us to go to the hospital for a flu test. It turned out that he had Type A Influenza, and it was highly probable that all of us had it.

After all, he sleeps in our bed still, I eat off his plate, and he sneezes in my face.

I took the rest of the week off, and since the following week was mid-winter break I stayed at home blowing my nose. At least I had left-over gourmet pizza!

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